"Busy" is the new "fine".

I don’t know if it has been your experience, but it seems that whenever I ask people how they are these days I get the same response “Busy!  You?”.  I mentioned to my good buddy Chris Redmond the other day that “Busy, seems to have become the new fine” & he asked if I had read that somewhere as it was a neat quote, truth is I’m not sure, but it is so universal it is hardly surprising that others are noticing it to.  Most commentators are using the fact to bemoan our hectic lives and that we need to spiritually reconnect (see: http://www.paganmusic.co.uk/is-busy-the-new-fine/ and http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/stress-is-the-new-fat/). They have a good point and I have blogged in the past about the need to “get bored” myself.  Chris suggested the “busy” response was probably a defense mechanism – people immediately tell you that they are busy just in case you are planning to add to their workload!  But in today’s environment of austerity and fear of job security is it actually that we are afraid to say anything else?  “Yes, I’m busy – why do I not LOOK busy?”.  I also speak to some people who clearly like to use it as a badge of honour – a fast and succinct way of saying 'I am successful' (more than you buddy)!

So “busy” is the new fashion more than anything else.

Part of the problem of course is generational – countless articles have been written on how the early baby boomers have robbed my generation by having the ideal work life balance with gilded pensions. My Dad fits this generation & I am very proud of how he managed to juggle a challenging work life with family time. He was with us nearly every morning for breakfast and home (most evenings) on the dot of 6pm despite holding down a very senior role at an overseas owned Investment and Retail Bank.  Family time round the table was really important to him and it really bonded us as a family – in fact as my brothers were much older than me so some days it was the only time I saw them. It is however quite a challenge to meet this ideal with my own kids – I leave home at 7am and tend to return 12 hours later. So I am home in time to help put the kids to bed but certainly can’t factor in quality time round the dinner table and I suspect I am one of the lucky ones – the world of Executive Recruitment is not known for its light work load.  Arguably I choose this lifestyle, I don’t have to work in London and live in Surrey – nor do I have to work in the industry I do!  But this life of long hours was certainly not what we were promised by futurologists and economists commenting on how work/life would be.  In fact what ever happened to the flying cars they promised us too – Facebook or twitter don’t quite fill the hole of expectation!  So no flying cars, less leisure, more work and harder commutes in order to afford where we live.  Some future huh? 

I do acknowledge the situation is much deeper than this flippant commentary,  indeed many of us have to be madly busy. House prices have grown, wages been eroded and Government support reduced to such an extent that most people have no choice other than to work every hour there is just to make ends meet.  One of the best commentaries I have found on the poverty trap and cycle of low wages is this book and I urge you to read it, in fact it renders some of this blog as mere moaning: "Hard Work: Life in Low Wage Britain"

But for a large sector of the working population in salaried work there are choices to be had when confronting the “busy” culture. Firstly, set your limits and be challenging with employers. People who know me know that I am not one for accepting toxic work environments – or moreover those odd cultures where the contract says “8:30am to 6:00pm” but they don’t mean it (anyone who has felt that withering look from colleagues as they skulk out of the office at 7pm knows this feeling); or places that claim a “family culture/healthy work life balance” in the interview – but prefer to go drinking in the evenings and expect you too if you want to be part of the team.  Lastly make sure your employer accepts the odd day working from home. Pipe dream? Not if you are robust, respect yourself and keep looking for a place that will. If you get the culture wrong things will be OK at the start but you will soon start under-performing and/or lose interest (I have been there....).  I have spoken to my dad about this and he pointed out that he worked through the 1980’s where the crazy “work hard” culture started and the increasing requirement to participate in evening functions got greater & greater. He just choose not to get involved in some & was very canny at identifying those events that you really must be at  - rather than those that were less crucial.  So busyness can be a choice - choose not to take on the extra and forcibly reject the pressure to have to appear busy all the time; take time to identify what can be delegated to others balanced with what is best delivered by you and who to ask for help when it gets too much. 

Next time when someone asks how you are please don’t just glibly tell them that you are “busy” please tell them something else. But use it as a moment to check yourself, if you really do need to say “actually I am overwhelmed and not able to cope” then seek help, one of the best resources is the book Time Management for the Creative Person.  Or book some time with an awesome coach like Lee Chalmers.